I have discovered a new reason to love cable television. After many years of paying for cable television each month, only to please my husband and children, I have finally come to appreciate cable television myself.

For a time, I avoided the television and viewed it as simply a piece of furniture. Well, to be precise, a brain devouring piece of furniture. I had placed our television in the family room and refused to have one, much to my husbands chagrin, in the master bedroom. However, I was not always so set against television. I used to be thoroughly addicted. I used to have a television in every room of the house with the exception of the bathroom. For at least 15 years I rushed home, from school and later work, to get my afternoon soap opera fix. The Guiding Light came on each weekday at 3 PM. Missing even one episode was enough to throw me into a downright pissy mood. I enjoyed other daytime dramas, like As The World turns and The Bold And The Beautiful, but The Guiding Light was the show I simply could not miss. I was so drawn in by the fictional Springfield residents that I would actually become anxious about what would happen on the show the next day.

Soaps were not my only addiction. I have been, at various times, addicted to a variety of television shows, such as 90210 (don't tell anyone), Melrose Place, Sex and the City, Law and Order, ER, Judging Amy, Big Brother, and Survivor. Unfortunately, my husband's television tastes did not mesh with mine and we would often watch television at the same time but in different rooms. He likes to engross himself in sports programs. I would, as an attentive wife, dutifully take in the occasional football or basketball game with him. However, I had to draw the line at golf and fishing. I am sure many will disagree with me ,but in my humble opinion, there is positively nothing more boring than watching golf and fishing on television. I do enjoy going fishing with my family. I can even tolerate watching my husband golf. I cannot, however, sit in front of the old boob tube for hours, watching someone hit a little ball or waiting for some guy to catch a fish. My husband has another annoying television flaw. He loves the Rocky movies. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed watching Rocky Balboa beat the odds once or twice, but my husband insists on watching them any time they come on television, which is surprisingly often given how old they are. He also owns all the movies; so on many Saturday afternoons he can be found watching one Rocky tape after another in his den. Needless to say all this Rocky viewing makes me want to vomit, so I developed the habit of watching my own favorites in another room. In all fairness to my husband, I have to say he was nauseated by my choice in television programs as well.

Eventually, I came to the conclusion that we, as a family, were watching way too much television. My husband and I were constantly in different rooms; my children were glued to the cartoon channels and I was, as I stated, just plain addicted. Television was sucking up our family time and as a responsible wife and mother I knew I had to put an end to it. I designed cute television coupons for my children. They would get one coupon, allowing for 30 minutes of television viewing, per day. They could, however, earn more by doing chores around the house or helping out in other ways. The maximum amount of television viewing any child could earn was 90 minutes per day. When one of my children wanted to redeem a coupon, they had to give me the coupon and tell me what they wanted to watch and when it was starting. This was so I could monitor what they were viewing (often that annoying sponge creature) and how long they were watching it. The coupons really helped because with less time to watch television my children seemed to become much more selective of cartoon programs. They also spent much more time reading and using their imaginations. For my part, I quit watching television cold turkey. It was hard. My brain craved its daily fix of fictional love, deceit, and danger. I kept hearing the theme music from Law and Order in my head, over and over again. I even got the shakes (just kidding), but after a few weeks I no longer even missed television. My husband refused to surrender to my new television rules, but he did cut down on his viewing time, at least a little.

I avoided television completely for quite a while until the final months of my most recent pregnancy. I had gained an unbelievable amount of weight and was carrying what seemed to be the world's largest fetus. It literally hurt to move around, so I took to resting on the couch in the family room whenever I had the opportunity to take a break. That was when the remote started calling me. It begged me to pick it up. The television joined in, taunting me with all I was missing. I was able to stay strong for about a week or so, but finally I gave in and turned the television on.


This time, however, I avoided all the mind numbing, time wasting programs I had previously indulged in and turned right to the discovery channel. Over the next few weeks, while I awaited the birth of my fourth child, I discovered a new love of television. I watched programs about Volcanoes, tornadoes, and hurricanes. I learned about wooly Mammoths and Komodo Dragons. I gained valuable insight into the lives of American soldiers during World War II. I learned all about the discovery of tiny human beings. I watched a fascinating show, about life in the womb, with my children. I learned some interesting decorating tricks and had fun viewing homes that were even more cluttered than mine. My eldest daughter actually learned Spanish from one educational program and managed to teach a few words of it to me.

I have a renewed love for television, now that I realize I can be both entertained and educated at the same time. I no longer fear television will melt my brain and I feel justified in paying for cable television once again. I have to admit, however, I still sneak a peek at the Guiding Light once in a while. Sssh! Please don't tell anybody!